So I asked you all what you were most interested in reading about, and a few people mentioned that they wanted to know what the “dating life”, or lack there of, was like as flight attendant. As most of you know, I have been dating Jensen Sharp for a little while now, but before that, my dating life wasn’t all that great. I wish I could chalk it all up to my career, but honestly I don’t think that was my biggest problem. My problem was trying to force things to work with people who weren’t right for me. Anyways, I’ll rehash my dating history since starting this job so you all can get a little insight into what its really like.
When I started this job, I had just gotten out of a 2 year relationship that desperately needed to end. It didn’t end because I took the job, it ended because we weren’t meant to be together. Before that I had always kind of been in a relationship with someone, even if it wasn’t serious, so this was my first time really being single. I will admit, it was fun for a while, but the fun wears off pretty quickly.
When I started flying I didn’t have anyone else who was demanding my time. The world was available to me and the only schedule I had to worry about was my own. I was able to work when I wanted, vacation when I wanted, and go on dates or stay home by myself whenever I wanted. Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t have a long line of guys waiting to go out with me if I wanted, but I had a few guys every now and then.
For the first time ever, I tried to use Tinder…literally a shiver just went up my spine, it was that traumatic for me. I am not a “tinder” person. I haven’t ever done online-ish dating before and have always met people either at work or at school and it seemed natural. However, I moved to a new place, I didn’t have a normal job, and I wasn’t in school anymore, so Tinder seemed to be the way people my age were meeting people nowadays. Since I say things like “nowadays” you probably already realized that I am not the type of person who was going to meet someone on Tinder. I’m not saying that everyone is sleazy and a little on the dumb side on there, but if I wanted to hook up or date a frat boy, I would have stayed at ASU for the rest of my life.
After I realized that Tinder wasn’t for me, I tried meeting people out and about. I had told myself that I wouldn’t ever date a flight attendant or a pilot (stay tuned for how long that lasted) so whenever I was in Minneapolis or on a layover I was trying to meet a cute boy around town. During this time a few people from back home had begun messaging me and that never went anywhere. Everyone back home just saw my posts and thought I was all of a sudden exciting now that I started traveling, but after texting for a little bit, they realized I was the same boring, nerdy, loner girl that I was before and it always fizzled out. Then, the guys I met around Minneapolis weren’t really my type and I am kind of picky, I’ll admit, and the guys that I went out with in other cities didn’t really ever want to commit to long distance (even though for me, everything felt like long distance). So then I started meeting people at work.
I said I wasn’t going to date a flight attendant, but after going through the rejection of what felt like was the job’s fault, I felt the only way I would find a guy who understood the schedule would be if they did it too. When you meet a fun, single male flight attendant, it is very rare, but when you do, you usually bond with them pretty quickly because you are forced to spend 3 days together! A few flings came of this but nothing more. Most of these guys are in the ideal spot where they can hook up with different pretty girls every day, so they didn’t want a commitment to anything, and even when they thought they did, they didn’t. I ended up giving myself the short end of the stick and played the “talking” game forever. I didn’t make anyone commit to anything because I felt like everyone got cold feet when I started wanting a relationship. But after a year of things like this, I realized I was done playing that game.
I took a step back and started thinking about all the failed “relationships” that I had over the past year and a half and tried to think of everything that was causing me problems. Here is what I came up with:
- Guys only wanted to talk to me because they wanted flight benefits.
- Guys only wanted to date me because they thought my job was exciting, not me.
- Guys couldn’t deal with the schedule of me being gone for 3+ days at a time.
- Guys were jealous and thought I was talking to different guys/pilots in every city.
- Guys just don’t know how to commit anymore.
- Guys aren’t willing to try long distance.
As you can see, everything I came up with was a combination between the guys problem, and my work schedule. Honestly though, my problem was that I wasn’t being patient. I was trying to force things to work with people who were bad for me and I was also going through a selfish phase of my life. I wanted someone who was going to be stationary. I wanted to be the one who got to go all over the world whenever I wanted, but I also wanted someone to be there for me whenever I was available. I could say all I wanted about the job and guys being the problem, but really, the problem was me. When I realized that and took a step back to just get out doing the things that I wanted to do, instead of focusing my energy on silly boys I didn’t even see a future with, things got a lot better.
One day, I saw a video that was posted on Instagram (or Facebook) by a guy I went to high school with and I thought it was so cool! Since I had been working on making videos of my trips and stuff I was constantly paying attention to these types of videos to get new ideas for my own (which still aren’t nearly as good as they should be by now haha) and I found myself liking this random guys videos without even realizing it. Later, I thought, “oh my gosh, I am such a weirdo! I haven’t talked to this guy since I was a freshman in high school and now like some stalker, I just liked or scrolled through his entire feed without even noticing.” I figured I would just message him and compliment him on his work so it would be less weird (which some people have pointed out is more weird? I still don’t agree). He messaged me back and after talking and catching up for a bit, this guy said, “If you ever have a layover in SLC let me know”. Now this is the part that makes me actually sound creepy, and makes this seem like it was all intentional, but I had a layover in SLC the very next day.
At the time, I didn’t think that I was going on a date, I thought I was just hanging out with an old friend. After we hung out though, I was thinking, “If this wasn’t a date, then I seriously need to reevaluate my dating expectations.” It was one of the best times that I had had in a while, and even though I didn’t get a kiss out of it to confirm it was a date, I did get to go to dinner, see the planetarium, walk through a mini art exhibit, try to get out of an escape room, and sit on the steps of the SLC capital around midnight and talk about life with a sweet boy. The next day I joined my crew and told them all about it and we all anxiously waited to see if he was going to text me later that day. After I had gotten my whole crew invested, we were all pleasantly surprised when he not only texted me, but texted me with info about me getting to see my grandma on my next layover, which means that he was actually listening to something that I told him the night before.
Six months later, we have been hanging out ever since; having dates that seem like mini honeymoons thanks to Delta sending me off to Hawaii, and several layover hangouts in SLC. I feel so lucky to have met someone who is so patient with me when it comes to my crazy schedule, the long distance, and the independence that I crave. Jensen has been amazing since the beginning and even though we are different, we work so well together and I look forward to seeing all the adventures that we will get to go on over the next couple of years!
Hopefully this all gives you a little idea of what it is like to date as a flight attendant. It did seem like a struggle at first but eventually I found the guy that I didn’t know I was looking for and everything else just fell into place. I can’t tell you if this is the same type of experiences that all flight attendants have, but these are the things that I went through, so I feel like thats all I can truly share with you. Be patient and don’t blame the job. Live out your dreams and do the things that you want to do, and if you meet someone along the way, then great! If not, keep doing you and don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve and I promise it will be worth it!